Dr Joel Ingersoll

Feeling Isolated?

Mon, 06 Apr 2020 05:25:36 -0700

Expressions Amid Challenge.

"I'm so bored." "I have no motivation." "When is this going to end?"

Three of the most common challenges I've heard expressed by students, parents, professionals, and friends over the past 3 weeks.

Symptoms of anxiety and depression are experienced uniquely through a range feelings, thoughts, and actions (behavior). These symptoms are expressed in a range of ways too. Often during stressful times, when depression and anxiety symptoms increase, self-care/wellness routines/healthy lifestyle activities decrease.

Along with the typical symptoms of anxiety and depression, be mindful of:

MORE: sleep, complaining, video gaming, binge TV watching, alcohol/weed/gummy consumption, irritability, displaced anger.

LESS: exercise, healthy eating, participation in hobbies (playing music, painting, etc.), meditation/prayer.

Truth. We are being tested on skills for which we have never received a grade. Skills like resilience, time management, and emotional regulation. We are being tested to define a new normal. Whether that involves an approach to parenting, adjusting to online student learning, or reinventing a career path our time in physical isolation has significant psychological impact.

Now, more than ever it is critical to push through a familiar stigma associated with seeking mental health services and ASK FOR HELP!

It's what smart, successful people do.

With social restrictions in place it's an added challenge to access mental health resources. Fortunately, many mental health professionals are offering tele-health services through HIPPA compliant platforms like Zoom and for a limited time through Facetime, and Skype.

In addition to checking your health insurance website for providers, if you need to access mental health resources, keep these handy.

1. For immediate mental health emergencies:

Call 911

5 Ways To Help College Kids Over Thanksgiving Weekend

Wed, 20 Nov 2019 09:05:02 -0800

Thanksgiving weekend. Hungry college students are storming home with bags of laundry, little sleep, and lots of pending stress..

"Like deer in headlights" is how I describe the college vibe on campuses the Monday after Thanksgiving. Kids are down to the last 2-3 weeks of the semester with a ton of work to do. Think of the "psychological flu of stress/anxiety" spreading across campuses.

Parents, a college kid's stress level peaks this time of the semester! Especially for first year college kids who have never been through it before. Pressure to finish papers and prep for finals is mixed with anticipation for winter break.

Students are tested but NOT graded on key skills: time management, organization, stress management, self-advocacy, resilience, and more. Lots of college kids (like most people) minimize self-care during a stress spike. At this critical time many students miss or cancel appointments with helpful campus resources (counseling centers, advisors), discontinue exercise, and maintain terrible sleep habits.

Late November is also a time when students struggling academically seek a Medical Leave of Absence (“MLOA”) or petition for a course withdraw.

While at home over Thanksgiving you may observe your student express stress and anxiety through language reflective of low confidence and a bleak semester outcome. Statements like, “I should have gotten it done earlier..” “I can’t do it..” “I haven’t been to class..” and “There’s no way I can pass..” are common.

Here are 5 tips on how you can help them over Thanksgiving break to prep for the final stretch of the semester!

1. Encourage the Big Skills. Stressful experiences like this suck for college kids. But, there is opportunity in the midst of struggle. Resilience, self-confidence, and self-efficacy are critical skills for college students to develop. These are best gained by persevering through stressful...Read More

Is Your Child Emotionally Ready for College?

Mon, 26 Aug 2019 14:08:37 -0700

This article was published in the Wall Street Journal, August 26th, 2019.
August brings the familiar ritual of parents and soon-to-be college freshmen packing up for move-in day. Amid the final flurry of preparations, there’s one task that shouldn’t be overlooked: anticipating and discussing the challenges ahead. Despite their academic talents and extracurricular achievements, many teenagers now headed to college lack the emotional maturity for their first real encounter with adult independence.
Parents may feel confident about the transition because their teen has gotten this far; perhaps the family has teamed up to navigate the arduous path to success in high school and in the college application process. If the new collegian is headed to a school that’s a good fit, the hard part may seem over.
But the ascent from high school to college is filled with new complications, and the more that parents have done along the way to help their teens prepare, the less ready their offspring may be to handle problems without their help. Parents will face a new dynamic in trying to understand from afar when best to intervene and when to hang back. And colleges, whose privacy rules about students’ academic and health information can often keep parents in the dark, can’t be relied on to step in as watchdogs or caretakers.
As parents of former college students ourselves and as mental-health professionals dealing with this age group, we have observed the rising rate of mental illness on campus with growing concern. Both of us have seen young patients with crippling anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders and even incidents of self-harm who have been unable to adapt to the demands of college life.
More than 85% of college students described feeling “overwhelmed,” and 51% reported feeling at some point in the past year that “things were hopeless,” according to the American College Health Association’s annual survey in 2018....Read More

Perspective is Everything.

Fri, 23 Aug 2019 12:11:53 -0700

College students have arrived on campus, and are just settling in. Classes are about to start. They have received their syllabus and have a sense of the academic demands ahead.
At this early point in the semester, one conversation point remains constant - the experience of a class, lecture, or professor they are less than enthusiastic about, especially facing the next 16 weeks.
Thoughts like, “This class is not what I expected," “This course has no relevance for my life or career,” “The professor is horrible,” “Dude, I’m totally dropping this course,” or “This is impossible” can create a negative perspective and lead students to sabotage themselves from maximizing their potential.
Consider the parallel: If we have a bad coach or undesirable boss, over time it becomes a personal challenge to maintain a positive perspective and perform our best and work hard for them. The alternative is to feel uninspired, frustrated, and resentful....which never leads to good outcomes.
Now the big question: Given any of these circumstances, how do you stay inspired, motivated and perform your best for the next 16 weeks?
3 Tools You Need:
1. Go beyond the course! If you find the readings boring and uninspiring, be proactive and read material outside of the syllabus. (Yes, you are allowed to do this, and may discover some cool stuff!)
2. Commit to attending class and participating in every discussion! This is valuable in demonstrating a proactive approach and a positive impression from your professor (especially if you follow the first suggestion and read outside the class).
3. Recognize the long term benefits of this challenge on your personal character! Consider the potential benefits of staying in the class, making it work, and maximizing your effort. Personal development, perseverance, resiliency, leadership, and opportunities to connect with new students are...Read More

Social Choices: Make Them Count

Mon, 29 Jul 2019 17:03:25 -0700

It’s one of the most exciting, anticipated times of summer. College students are beginning to pack up and get ready to arrive on their college campuses. It’s an awesome time to be on college campuses - vibrant, lively, and full of energy. Students will be meeting new and old friends, figuring out the buildings where classes are held, and attending informative orientation programs. It’s easy to get caught up in the momentum and energy of the start of the fall semester.
During my appearance on The Price of Business radio show, we discussed the significance of college social choices.
In every college semester, a critical aspect of student success and fulfillment concerns students’ healthy social choices however, college students often minimize the potential impact their social choices can have on academic performance, personal life, and career goals.
This occurs in particular with choices associated with alcohol use.
In my 15 years of working on college campuses, I assessed, counseled, and discussed the risks associated with alcohol and other drugs with thousands of students. And watched some poor choices turn into mandated counseling, fines, legal charges, hospitalization, suspension, expulsion, development of further addiction, and referral to rehabilitation programs.
Did you know approximately 25% of college students reported falling behind, missing class, doing poorly on papers and exams and receiving low grades as a result of drinking?
And about 90% of alcohol consumed by underage drinkers is in the form of binge drinking?
In 2013 there were nearly 40,000 arrests and 165,000 disciplinary actions related to alcohol and other drugs (AOD) on college campuses.
Source: ProjectKnow.com (take a look)
Additionally, many colleges have a slew of resources when making the wrong choices,...Read More

High School Tips For A New Start

Mon, 19 Feb 2018 09:23:08 -0800

Once February hits, many students lose focus on the resolutions they made for the new year. Keeping track of them is essential, especially during stressful months in order to improve as a student and develop success skills.
Goal achievement is possible, as long as you dedicate a little time to stay on top of your work, and keep them fresh in your mind. Any time you feel like you are unable to reach them, break them down into smaller steps. Anything is achievable as long as you put in the time and effort!

Follow these tips to achieve your resolutions!
Jot down and highlight your 2-3 most important resolutions. Work on these first.
Take big goals and divide them into small goals. For academics, make a short goal of increasing your reading time 15 minutes per day. Track this for a month, revise your approach until it becomes a good fit for you.
Check off your achieved goals. This creates a sense of accomplishment and is the most satisfying part of developing a success plan.
Make adjustments to your lifestyle to align with your academic goals. Physical, psychological, and social health are key factors to help you succeed!
Try something new! Stretch your comfort zone and sign up for a new fitness class, join a club, or start a blog. Remember that college readiness goes beyond getting good grades and high scores!
Author Bio:
Jackie Goldstein is a high school sophomore and a 2018 intern at Take On College.
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4 Ways to Combat Procrastination

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 09:48:11 -0800

Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary defines procrastination as, "Putting off intentionally the doing of something that should be done." But procrastination has been more simply described as 'the gap between contemplation and action.' Procrastination, that inability to start or finish a task we know has to be done, is one of the most common forms of avoidance, and is certainly a top success-blocking habit.
Humans are wired by evolution to favor obvious short-term goals and outcomes over nebulous future ones. We can experience conflict between the desire for easy gratification and the expected drudgery of working to long-term success. We need a way to address that conflict, and free ourselves up to move forward if we're stuck.
Although everybody procrastinates sometimes, some of us are bothered consistently by an inability to start and finish projects in a way that maximizes outcomes and minimizes effort. Most people procrastinate because they anticipate that taking on the task will generate more stress than they're currently suffering. But in reality, it's procrastination that creates and maintains the highest stress levels. Whereas the completion of a necessary task, or even just steps taken in that direction, offer stress relief. As well as emotional and mental freedom. And an increased sense of accomplishment. And rise in self-esteem. Not to mention the freeing up of energy to devote to things we fully love and enjoy!
Someone famously said, "99% of success is showing up." The biggest hurdle to finishing most tasks is starting them. Getting off the couch can be the toughest thing on some days, but once we actually stand up, we begin to develop momentum. How do we move from contemplation to action, minimizing procrastination and crushing the New Year?
1. Create an “I will” list! This is a great way to manage the feeling of "I'm overwhelmed" that can glue us to the couch, TV, video game. In the evening,...Read More

Take on the Blues: Depression-Busting Tips for the New Year!

Wed, 03 Jan 2018 21:31:48 -0800

When was the last time you exercised? How’s your healthy eating resolution coming along? Are you keeping up with stress management? If you're like many of us, you get through the challenging holiday months more or less intact, but find yourself deflated, listless, unfocused once they're over. To top it off, you may also be feeling a little SAD (Seasonal Affect Disorder, due to loss of sunlight and the natural Vitamin D it provides) now that the clocks are set back and the night is longer!
Of all the times of year, the post-holiday season is most often connected to the onset or worsening of 'the blues'. Depression, severe or moderate, makes it harder for us to take care of ourselves and show up for others--which can be a problem when students and parents are home together for winter break, or perhaps facing tough challenges in the semester or work/family year ahead.
But it doesn't have to that way. There are things you can do to mitigate the blues, both after the holidays or in your general life throughout the year. Now is the perfect time to create a depression treatment plan to get you through the winter season stronger and more focused!
What is depression, and what fuels it?
Simply put, depression is getting stuck in negative thinking, feeling, and doing patterns. If these negative patterns are practiced over time, they can become chronic habits that are difficult to break, and link to other physical-psychological issues like anxiety, anger, substance abuse, and eating disorders.
Chronic depression is long-lasting. People often describe it as, “feeling this way for as long as I can remember.” They may report weaving in and out of bouts of depression over weeks, months, or even years. It’s a challenge to shake this kind of depression, and people who seek treatment are often prescribed medication to alleviate their symptoms--so they can better work out the issues that contribute.
Reactive...Read More

For College Students: The Trouble With Resolutions!

Tue, 12 Dec 2017 09:51:38 -0800

You have about 40 days. That’s it!
I’m referring to those New Year resolutions you're making before the ball drops. If you're like most Americans, your resolutions will last until mid-February, tops -- unless you do something different this time!
Have you ever noticed how full the fitness center parking lots are in early January? Check back in another four weeks and you’ll see a lot more parking spaces at the fitness center. Maybe you've already experienced your own trouble with resolutions. Like many students, you start the New Year, or the new semester, highly motivated and with new goals and plans (like hitting the library more, increasing study time, or prioritizing exercise), but after a strong week or two you find yourself falling back into old, familiar patterns.
You're not alone. This happens to millions of people--80% of those who make New Year resolutions, in fact. Why?
One reason resolutions fail is because some of us might not really want to change when we make them. We just think we should, or other people are pushing us to change and we're doing it for them. Another reason we don't follow through on resolutions is that we don't really believe we can, because we've tried before and failed. We also drop resolutions because we're succeeding at them, and expect our entire lives will improve as a result; when that doesn't happen, discouragement follows. And change itself can be scary, causing us to lose our resolve and return to the (dis)comfort of our old ways.
Finally, and primarily, we often set ourselves up for falling short by setting absolutely unrealistic goals in the first place. We then either discover that the going was rougher than we were ready for, or that we didn't outline the action steps that would get us where we wanted to be. And we give up.
So here you...Read More

The Final Stretch: Five Lessons We Can Help our Students Learn at Semester's End

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 14:54:44 -0800

For college students, the last few weeks of the semester are a mix of vacation anticipation, graduation logistics, part-time job or internship arrangements, and preparation for finals. We parents hope our students have set themselves up for a strong semester finish, but it's just as likely that the increased stress at semester's end is creating difficulties for them. How can we help?
Because time management and organization skills are so severely tested at these times of the school year, student anxiety and self-doubt escalate. Campus-wide, I hear stressed-out students express low confidence with comments like, “I should have gotten this done earlier,” or, “I can’t do it,” or, “Haven’t been to class,” and the perennial, “There’s no way I can pass.” Students who would benefit most by maintaining or increasing proactive healthy activity (e.g., exercise, sleep) instead obsess about "not having enough time!" and decrease their stress management--which exacerbates the problem.
Many students wisely seek out campus resources out for the first time, looking for help coping with perceived crises. But, more often, they'll miss or cancel ongoing appointments with counselors, advisors, and other helpful campus resources, and eventually seek a Medical Leave of Absence (“MLOA”) or petition for a course withdrawal.
Late semester difficulties are actually prime opportunities to develop and practice new coping skills. Since our students are no longer under our direct care, how can we help them navigate and learn from the challenges of life without being overbearing and controlling?
The good news is that less is more in this aspect of parenting. Our students learn better when they're allowed to face their biggest challenges without much direct interference from us. Here are five valuable lessons we can teach our kids by giving them the space they need to grow on their own:
1. In the midst of struggle is opportunity. Always. Every...Read More